Emotional Obesity
By: Geeta Divekar
The year 2023 is fully underway. The rush of the winter holidays is behind us and our new year resolutions are in front of us. Albeit some of them already fizzled out and some going strong. The local Gyms are still offering new year specials and Yoga studios attract clients by promising them a new-centered life. Weight loss, exercise, and eating right is everyone’s new year’s goal. Information is bombarded about dropping dress sizes, how to lose inches to be more attractive, a myriad of personal training options, and the list goes on. From major TV channels to all Social media platforms, a new YOU is promoted. On one hand, a centered life is promoted while being in the center of life sounds attractive. Such an obvious dichotomy of being physically fit and emotionally obese!
So, what is common in the two scenarios that are diametrically opposite to each other? The answer is simple — “Stand out while fitting in”. Yes, it is the emphasis on your individuality, the “ME” and my being. The ME somehow has to be the center of attention, be popular, and be different at all times. Consciously everyone is measured by their differentiators. The better your differentiators are, the more sought after and talked about one becomes. The age of selfies and outward perfection! And that has become the primary identity and primary objective.
This is exactly what “Emotional Obesity” is. In the broader context of relationships in the personal space and work space, this ME has become the ENEMY! Modern Psychology puts emphasis on you being you — be yourself! That’s the laziest piece of advice meted out. Liking yourself, accepting yourself, and putting yourself first is a whole philosophy. This view tells you to increase and inflate the self. A whole new way of life and it is terribly wrong. This is harmful and it will certainly not serve future generations well. A low self-image (hitting the gym to be more desirable) is an obsession with self and a high self-image (that I am important and different) is also an obsession with self. That actually is invulnerable in the sense that no one else is as important as me. I am the center of the universe, everyone must serve me, must benefit me, and must not threaten me. It’s all about ME. That makes you vulnerable to pain, hurt, and micro aggression. Everything hurts because you are so self-conscious and every song is about you. That’s misery. This is the mental prison that will weigh you down.
So how does one go from being Emotionally Obese to Emotionally Healthy? Let’s start from the beginning. “You need to be more than you and not more of you”. This is a huge distinction. Let’s re-purpose our immediate environment. The issue is who is there besides ME? Enough of ME. Leave the ME monster out of the conversation. It’s about where the ME can go to become bigger, to become more complete, to become more purposeful to fulfill some mission. That’s healthy thinking. We should find contentment in what we have and be a blessing to those around us. Therein is the true meaning of life. The only way to have joy is to get past the ME monster. The ME is fine — I have given it enough attention. If we overfeed the ME monster, we become Emotionally Obese. A journey towards being Emotionally Healthy begins when the ME ends. At work, help a colleague or a coworker rise. Be that cheerleader your team relies on. Check on a relative whom you have not heard from in a while. Take care of your aging parents who are emotionally vulnerable. Look for something beyond yourself and people will be attracted to you. You will become a true nurturer and giver of joy to those around you. Just remember that you should be acceptable at a dance and irreplaceable in a shipwreck!
A step away from Emotional Obesity is a step towards balanced inner health! So one step at a time, let’s start at the very beginning.
